New Age Lifestyle

Quite right too.

When Jemima and I were at school there was quite a lot of gender differentiation. Both in terms of uniform and the activities that we were expected to take part in. For example, football and cricket for boys, netball and hockey for girls. I never tried to partake in any of the boys sports but I imagine if I did I would be pushed back into more feminine sports.

My school had a very generic uniform. It did not indicate which school I attended, it was just the classic mix of grey and black. The school divided into a junior section and a senior section. The junior section wore grey and the senior section wore black. Outside of that, my school wardrobe had some variation. A white blouse was a constant. Other than that I had a choice of skirts – pleated or straight which could be worn above or below the knee. Both trousers and leggings were acceptable. These were worn with socks or tights. There were no seasonal restriction and I was free to wear whatever combination I wished. Entering the senior section meant that make-up was allowed. This was supposed to be discreet but many girls plastered it on. Teachers generally ignored that as, at fifteen or sixteen, we were all just trying the hide the fact that we had lank hair and terrible acne.

Jemima wore a white shirt, black trousers, and grey jumper throughout his school career. No variation.       

In recent years, some schools have pushed to a more gender neutral policy. This might sound more encouraging but I am actually against the idea. This policy of neutrality means the removal of dresses, leggings, and skirts from the list of permitted uniform. Make-up and jewellery are also completely banned for both sexes. By default then, all pupils end up wearing the boy’s uniform and in doing so this stops girls expressing their femininity. I am aware that school may not be a fashion show but with this level of restriction pupils may as well wear Oceania style blue overalls.

My argument here is that this shouldn’t even be an issue at all. Forums like this – and it is not alone – have clearly shown that we don’t live in a society where all girls like to skip and play with dolls before becoming housewives, just as not all boys love football and cricket before becoming alpha-male titans of industry. I suggest that true gender neutrality comes from letting boys wear skirts and dresses as they please. Taking my old school as an example, it would allow boys to make the same choices and define their personalises just as I did as a teenager. There is enough variation in the uniform rules to allow someone to experiment with who they are whilst still retaining the idea of a formal school uniform. It is important to work against the stereotypes of what boys and girls should be like. The current system only promotes toxic masculinity.

Sorry, @Fishnetman, I do recall my old school banning fishnets. The goth girls wanted to wear them but they were considered a bit too much, which I guess made them even more miserable. Maybe modern schools would take a different approach. 
 
- Claire.

I gave this question some thought as I find this an interesting topic. My own views on this have shifted a little over time. My own approach is from the FLR side. I wanted to be the authority in my home and control the direction our lives and relationship as I thought that this would be better for both of us. As my focus is on FLR, I would have FLR without feminisation but over time I have found it very beneficial.

My partner is a Sissy and I knew this long before I married him. After the initial shock of finding out my partner cross-dressed, I was quite comfortable about it. I found it quite an endearing quality. It was nice that he had that gentle feminine side to his personality. In the vanilla years of our marriage I pretty much ignored his dressing up. When I considered moving to FLR, his cross-dressed initially posed a problem. I knew I had to incorporate it into our FLR somehow. I could not forbid the practice; that would be a horrible thing to do. Jemima was initially hesitant to move to FLR and so my promise that I’d feminise him and keep him as a wife did help me sell the idea. Also, that notion of role reversal was good clear starting point to FLR.

I drive my FLR through feminisation as the dynamic works well for the both of us. In practical terms, the role of traditional housewife is well defined and he naturally took that step back and he knew that household chores would fall to him. That traditional role of supporting partner pretty much encompassed what I wanted from FLR. What I like about feminisation is the added control I have. It’s down to me to make sure he remains feminine, obedient, and docile. I can even take issue with his posture and body language if I like. Any behavior I don’t like can be treated as silly male attitudes which must be removed. Using that idea of him being the perfect feminine housewife I can be very strict and keep him in his place.

Feminisation also changes the dimension of our FLR a little. We do this as a lifestyle choice so it is very important to me that we remain as a couple. He is not my servant, he simply acts like many women have over the generations. Also, as a lifestyle choice, we have to be able to carry on with our day to day lives. Through simple rules like forbidding male clothes at home I can assert my authority without having to be on his case all the time. He is constantly reminded of his place but the vibe is more gentle. I can be very strict and firm with my discipline but treat him as a wife and care for and love him like any husband might.

- Claire.

An interesting point. In simple terms I would describe my relationship as gender role reversal but I don’t emulate masculinity myself. I would not say that am more masculine than my partner, nor have ever been.

Although always strongly independent, even as a child I couldn’t really have been described as a tomboy. An old school report did say that I was, apparently, a “very wilful little girl” but I never felt the need to act like a boy. I still had a favorite dress, played flute, and liked netball. Likewise, if you were to visit our home now in our absence, at first glance it may appear as two women live here. It would probably be Jemima’s cross-dressing paraphernalia that would betray a man’s presence. This is my personal preference, I like a very feminine home and that obviously includes my feminised partner.

The same would apply at work. I don’t emulate the style of the male managers around me. I would only wear trouser-suits and flat shoes, but this is just a practical consideration for my work environment and not a statement. So, I would use the term gender reversal as simple explanation of what we do but, strictly speaking, that’s not true. I take on the role of traditional role of husband as I am the breadwinner and generally run the household but I do not take on a male persona. As a sissy, Jemima does. He takes on the traditional role of wife and carries out the cooking and the cleaning but also must adopt his feminine persona of Jemima. I expect him to dress and act the part at all times in private. 

- Claire.

I was a bit surprised by the way some of the sissies on the forum describing having their name changed as a humiliating experience. I changed the name of my sissy when we moved to FLR but I did not mean for this to be humiliating.

For many years prior to FLR my sissy had routinely cross-dressed. His feminine name was Catherine and I was well used to seeing Catherine at home. When we started FLR I wanted to change his name. There is nothing wrong with the name Catherine but I didn’t want him to have any preconceptions about what to expect based on the time he had spent as Catherine. This was a fresh start. It was useful to change his name myself as I was taking the lead in the feminisation process. I found that in assigning a name, I was also creating a new personalty. In the months prior to moving to FLR we were both able to discuss ‘Jemima’ and what ‘she’ would be like. This was meant as a very positive thing. We both wanted our relationship to move in this direction and this gave us a chance to define the roles we were going to step into and, hopefully, look forward to the change.

I did like the idea of the title of Sissy. I had noted that many sissies do use this title on forums like this as we’ll all tend to log on under female names. My own sissy is clear in his opinion. The title and role of wife is very important to him. So, he’d want to adopt my surname and become Mrs Jemima. For little things like magazine subscriptions or the odd fashion catalogue I can subscribe in that name and let him try it on for size but it’s not practical in the real world.

- Claire.
         

We married nine years before going into a FLR so our wedding was quite conventional and vanilla. Too much so, in fact. Having known about Jemima’s feminine side for as long as I had known him I did want to incorporate some aspect of femininity for him but I was foiled.
 
Originally, I had wanted Jemima and I to select my dress and the bridesmaid’s dresses to together. Unusual maybe, but I did value his opinion and we did both have an interest in dresses. It wasn’t long before family and friends started to mention that is was bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding. I could have dismissed it as a silly tradition but, as Jemima’s cross-dressing was not widely known, it was hard to explain why I wanted to go dress shopping with my husband-to-be.

In my first plan I had selected pink as my theme colour. This would put Jemima and the men at the wedding in pink waistcoats and pink ties. I had selected a lovely pink floral waistcoat and silk cravat arrangement when the complaining started. It’s my wedding right? But, the waistcoats match the flowers, which match the bows on the back of the chairs. It probably won’t surprise any reader of this forum that I am hardly known for being a girlie girl. So this wash of pink was out of character. I was defeated again and the colour became green.

Jemima and I have discussed the idea of the renewal of vows with a FLR/Feminization styled ceremony. The idea does appeal to both of us for different reasons. I am sure Jemima would go for the traditional white fairytale style gown with suitably frilly underwear. The renewal would be a smaller affair than our actual wedding but I would re-instate the pink theme. I would wear a trouser suit, but I would make sure that it is a feminine cut and maybe in some pastel colour. Whilst I would use the title husband and take him as my wife, I would like to be clear that this is not an emulation of masculinity.

- Claire.

A very valid question, especially as I would like to promote the idea of female empowerment, not only in the context of this forum but also in a more general sense. So, why am I not shouting about my lifestyle from the rooftops?

Well, as Tinkerbelle points out, this is something you can’t take back. I would suspect that if I did mention it to a few people at work it would eventually become office gossip and I certainly don’t want that. It is surprisingly easy to let things slip out which others will pick up on. I did once mention that my husband did most of the cooking in our house. This did make some female ears prick up and I got the usual “Where did you meet such a man?” comments. I am able to explain this away as I work longer hours than he does. I am, however, very careful about things like telephone calls where I’m calling him by is feminine name.

I’m in a good place with family. I am not open about our FLR but as Jemima has been cross-dressing for most of his life, that’s pretty much an open secret. I have no interest in having long discussions about the nature of our FLR with family members or strangers. Most users on this forum, be they a mistress or a sissy, would have found their way here as they have researched their own interest. To those who never have heard of FLR before, it may seem strange or even mean to subject a partner to a world of rules and discipline. Readers of this forum, whether they agree with me or not, will at least understand our motives and methods for living like this.

- Claire. 

I do think that @ed_babywood does raise an interesting point. I don’t think we’d ever get to know the actual statistics but I do feel the ratio would change if more women knew about FLR. I’d been married for nine years before I learnt about it. I think also, it would be more likely that a young sissy would discover FLR through searching about their own desire to cross-dress. Although I considered myself an independent woman, I’d never felt the need to search the web for resources. 

I do not know how it could be promoted, but I would like more women to be aware of the lifestyle. Not just in the idea that they may decide to become dominant and seek a submissive partner, but also just to lead their own households. It’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to be assertive in her life and relationships. It is no longer a choice between being an obedient wife or being the spinster of your parish.

When I found out about FLR it showed me how I could define the practical side of our relationship. How I could become the main breadwinner, run the finances, and take the lead on making our decisions as a couple. My partner then takes the supporting role. We could have left it there. Both partners in the couple might consider themselves fairly equal partners although it is the woman who instigates and leads the decision making. This is still a female lead relationship.

Now, I am clear in my preferences. I do like to dominate and my partner is a sissy so we take the lifestyle to the next level where feminisation, obedience, and discipline are routine parts of our household. Here again, FLR gives me the blueprints for how I can control and discipline. Then my sissy and I find the solution that works for us. 

A good FLR can take many forms and if the lifestyle were better known more men and women would be content in their relationships. Just as some women want the feeling of independence that FLR can bring, some men don’t want the responsibility of running a household and would willingly take it as far as full submission and sissy-hood.

- Claire.

I fully agree. Always acknowledge and reward good behavior in your sissy.     

- Claire.