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Messages - Jemima

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General Discussion / Re: future relationships and flr
« on: February 26, 2024, 06:59:33 am »
I knew from when I first started dating that I'd have to honest with any potential partner about my cross-dressing. It's a big part of who I am and I had to accept that if a lady I was dating wasn't comfortable with that then the relationship would not work out in the long term. I had been dating LadyC for around two to three months when the opportunity came up to tell her about it.

For us, the FLR side came later. It was LadyC who introduced FLR into our relationship after around nine years of marriage. I wasn't surprised by what she asked for but I was hesitant. She had been honest with me about what she wanted and I didn't think I could go through with it. But, we talked about it for a few months before trying it. I knew what her goals were in FLR and she understood my reluctance in some aspects. She took her time and slowly lead me into the lifestyle.

General Discussion / Re: Ideal voice for malette?
« on: February 09, 2024, 12:19:34 pm »
I would certainly be interested in trying this. My voice had always been a problem for me in the past. Even as a man my voice is quite deep and I sound very unfeminine. When I was young and going the gender fluid thing the amount of speaking I would need to do would often decide what gender role I could present as.

Although I could pass as female in appearance and body language, any more than a few words would reveal my true gender. I had tried to lighten my voice a little, but after a few sentences it would sound as though I was whispering. Situations where I knew that I would not have to say very much such as shopping could easily be done as female, you'd be surprised how far a polite nod and a smile will get you. Other situations, like taking a car to a garage I'd have to present as male. On the social side, I learnt how to keep my voice hidden. I was discreet when talking with female friends and in situations like a being in a restaurant they would subtly order on my behalf.

The advantage I have is that I am not trans. I got to choose my gender role freely, and although there some situations where I would have preferred to present as female, it was ultimately just an inconvenience. Now, as a sissy, it does not really matter. Although LadyC is quite strict in her feminisation, this only happens in private. But, just like walking in heels, it would be a nice skill to have.

General Discussion / Re: a little assistance would be appreciated.
« on: August 30, 2023, 10:41:51 am »
I've used the stuffed pantyhose technique for many years. Snip the foot off an old pair of tights and stuff with rice or birdseed. I used birdseed as I found it added a little more weight. These false boobs are surprisingly nice to wear, they have a nice weight to them and have a little bit of bounce when you move. I have passed in public using this method.

The main advantage is that they are cheap and you can also make them to any size you wish. They are quick and easy to stuff into a bra and can be pulled out and chucked out of sight if you need to make that quick change. They won't, of course, give you a realistic cleavage so if you want your sissy in low cut tops and bikinis when you might need proper breast forms.

Typically I don't really show any cleavage and my tops and dresses cover my boobs up. As I am only dressed at home I don't need anything more realistic for going out. It depends on your needs, but at home it means that I get the experience of feeling the weight of boobs and having to wear a bra.

You may push for something more elaborate, but for the price it's a good place to start.     

Discussions of New Age Lifestyle Blog Postings! / Re: Favorite Role?
« on: August 09, 2023, 12:04:44 pm »
I'd want to be in a secretarial role, maybe the traditional office junior.

I suspect this is down to experiences in my life. It's not so much about the job title or role but more about how I'd present myself. Having graduated my first job was in a formal office setting and so, as male, I was required to wear a business suit. My female colleagues were dressed in feminine office-wear. Naturally, I wanted to dress as they did in blouses, skirts and heels.

In a way it was one aspect of sissy-hood denied to me. As an independent young man I was free to live a gender fluid lifestyle, presenting myself as male or female as I preferred. For a short period I had got to the point where I worked as male, but generally lived as socialized as female. Work would always have to be a male only thing. Whilst technically I would have the right to wear skirts to work, I can't imagine it would have helped my career.

My first job pretty much your standard office junior role. Lots of basic admin and coffee runs. As you can imagine; it sucked, but presenting myself in my feminine office wear and doing admin and coffee runs for strong business women would be nice.

I have always been attracted to strong independent women. Even at school I was not interested in the girls who were seen as fashionable and dressed and acted like plastic dolls. My preference was for the girls in the school sports teams. By their nature these girls were sporty, strong, and muscular. But, for me, it's more about emotional independence than physical strength.

When I first met LadyC, long before we moved to FLR, I was impressed by her independence. She ran her own business and knew what she wanted. When we did move to FLR and she become the authority in our home, I enjoy the way that even with just a stern glance I am reminded to do as I am told.

I don't really think there is a definition of an official sissy and I have found that my thoughts on cross-dressing have changed over time.

Like others, I started when I was around five or six. Clearly at that age it was not a sexual thing, I just felt more comfortable in girl's clothes - it just felt right for me. At that age most of my friends were female and I wanted to play with dolls and wear dresses as they did, but the adults around me didn't really want to allow me. Around eight or nine years old I was attending my friend's birthday parties, typically as the only boy. I had asked my Mum if I could have a party dress like my friends but this was not allowed. I think around ten or eleven I asked to attend ballet class but this too was forbidden. I learned that the desire to be feminine is one that I should keep hidden.

Gaining my full independence in my 20s and having my own place I moved towards a more gender fluid lifestyle. For a short while I was to the point where I worked as male but generally lived and socialized as female. This balance shifted as I got more involved in the dating scene. After I married LadyC, I dressed up in private and I too loved dressing and acting as a feminine girly girl.

I did not do the FLR/Sissy thing until after nine years of marriage. I'd never even heard of FLR until LadyC talked about it. To be honest, when we moved to FLR, I did not think I would like doing the whole sissy thing but I found it to be enjoyable.

We all cross-dress for different reasons and I think is good to share thoughts and ideas.     

Male Feminization Discussions / Re: hair style
« on: June 19, 2023, 04:10:25 am »
A valid point about the eyebrow shaping. I asked a beautician to shape mine a little. She shaped then a little but did not give them the full female shape. When I applied my make-up I could then complete the shape with a eyebrow pencil.

Male Feminization Discussions / Re: Perfume
« on: June 16, 2023, 06:41:31 am »
Thank you for the advice, I will try that.

I had also tried using my toner in place of aftershave, especially when shaving to apply make-up. I do need to close the pores of my skin but really don't want to smell like a boy if I am dressing en-femme.

When shaving to dress as a drab male I guess it does not matter so much. It's just a personal preference to smell more feminine. Witch Hazel might well work well here. It will do the job and have no scent so I might be able to dab on a little perfume in modest amounts so that if you did stand close enough to me I might have a slightly girlie smell, but it would not be an overpowering stench.

Male Feminization Discussions / Re: hair style
« on: June 16, 2023, 06:17:00 am »
I had a similar problem in my early twenties. I was going to grow my hair out and find a style for it, but I did not know how to style it. Firstly, It all depends on how you wish to present yourself. Are you wanting to be a sissy full time or just some of the time? If you are part-time you'll need a style that can be adjusted between moments when you wish or need to appear masculine or feminine.

My advice here is to speak with a hairdresser you can trust, which is what I did. They will be able to advise you on a style that would suit you and also be worn in masculine and feminine ways if that is what is required.

In my case, even in my early twenties my hair was receding. I wanted to have long hair but I was starting to look like a girl with a receding hairline. It was just too thin and I would not be able to get away with it. In the end I cut it short and switched to wigs.

Yes, wigs are deeply annoying things, but this option did work for me. I am gender fluid so that sharp distinction between seeing myself and presenting as either a boy or a girl was quite pleasing.

Male Feminization Discussions / Re: Perfume
« on: June 12, 2023, 06:35:25 am »
I switched to feminine soaps and deodorants a while ago. I did experiment with using perfume as an aftershave, but the scent of perfume is too strong. Even if I were dressed en-femme, I would smell as though I was wearing too much of it.

I don't routinely wear perfume but there have been times when I have put some perfume on in the morning when I have dressed as a sissy and then been out as male in the afternoon.

Oddly, I have to note that since switching to female products, a couple of female co-workers had commented on nice I smelled. 

Celebrating Sissies!! / Re: Who would you like to look like?
« on: April 27, 2023, 03:40:57 am »
I'd go with number one.

General Discussion / Re: Asking For Sex
« on: April 13, 2023, 06:14:24 am »
That's a fair point @Squishie. I'd know better than to ask outright, but when you are in that moment it's hard not to make a suggestion.

There were two moments where I kind of gave up fighting it and accepted my emasculation. It was my wife who instigated our FLR, she had read about emasculation and thought it would work well for us. She favored the role reversal idea as she thought we would both be more comfortable switching roles.

The first turning point for me was about the feminization side. I'd cross-dressed since childhood and, to be honest, I found the thought of being feminized quite exciting. I thought the rule that I must dress and act feminine at home would be easy to follow, but it was quite challenging. In the past I had acted in a feminine whenever I had wanted to but now I had no choice. It was a shock to be forced into it and have to accept that dressing and acting feminine at home all the time - really did mean - all the time! I guess it was the same for the housework. A fun thought at first to be a proper housewife, but I'd find myself in trouble if chores weren't done.

It took a good six months to get into it all. After a while, the clothes and acting in a feminine way become natural and it felt better to be more feminine. It was a relief to be able to be able to change out of male drab and feel my natural self. I started to enjoy being a housewife, having a nice home and cooking for LadyC.

The whole obedience thing was hard. I had never considered female superiority until LadyC talked about it. When she told me she would expect obedience, I immediately thought of the word Dominatrix, and I did not like the idea. LadyC was adamant that this was completely different but I was still skeptical.

I agreed to give it a try and accepted her authority, but it was an odd journey. After about three months I started to quite like it. I find it hard to find the words, but it was oddly comforting to have LadyC in charge. I started to get a bit more into it and wanted to work on being more docile. I still had the instinct to resist and argue with her, but she was firm and patient and I got to the point where I was able to fully submit and accept emasculation.

We are about four years into FLR and it has probably taken me about a year to settle into my new role. Not an easy journey, but fully worth it.   

New & Existing Member Introductions / Re: I love wearing pantyhose
« on: January 14, 2023, 09:08:34 am »
Hi and welcome to the forum.

I have to agree with you. I've been cross-dressing for years and I have always loved wearing pantyhose. Do you keep your legs smooth? The feel of nylon on smooth skin is wonderful. I do also think that panties are the comfiest underwear I have ever worn.

I came out about my cross-dressing to my wife when we first started dating. It is big relief just to be yourself. I was especially worried that if she found a pair or panties or nylons in my home she would assume that I was with someone else. At that point saying that they were mine would have sounded like a feeble excuse.

Do you wear other items of feminine clothing or is it just the undies?

I do have to agree with this.

When LadyC first discussed moving to FLR is was skeptical about the whole obedience thing. I'd been cross-dressing for years and so the prospect of being feminized and being forced to reject any concept of masculinity did appeal to me. The idea of having to be completely obedient didn't really appeal.

It took me a long time to get into it. Moving from a position where I basically did what I wanted to a point where I am following rules, asking permission, and doing as I am told did was a big change for me. I have to admit it was not easy and I found myself fighting against it. I was surprised to find that the more I accepted it, the better I felt about it.

The initial description of being a sissy/malette does seem horrible; being forced to act and dress as feminine as possible, minding your attitude, curtsying, and doing chores. But it is actually really nice. My general well-being and happiness had improved a great deal. I never thought that I would ever describe any of this as relaxing, but that is exactly how I would describe it.     

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